The above photos are from the photo shoot I mentioned a few posts back when I returned from a long blog pause………these are photos taken hours after I re-wrote my final chapter for an upcoming book called Take Back Your Power and submitted it to my editor………. I am smiling because the stormy ocean was the perfect backdrop for submitting this chapter!
Learn from the Storms
Like you, I have been through my share of challenging seasons in my life journey. Sprinkled among the normal transitions of the life cycle, I have had to be a crisis manager for myself and my family on many levels………..this expert manager has learned the RIP TIDE principal to not exhaust my energy fighting the storm, and to dance in the water.
There have been times when actual weather storms coincided life challenges. Blizzards and snowstorms have been companions to challenging life events. But those hurricanes, have been life storm besties. I call them “BESTIES” because the national weather center issues us a friends list each year as hurricane season starts. The names are 99.9% named after people, that other .1% are named after Greek letters. When 26 “friendly” names are used for the year, they become ‘Filos / filia mou‘ (the Greek word for friend) to me.
Hurricane David over Labor Day weekend 1979 called shotgun as my family moved from Coral Springs, FL to Jupiter, FL. What a way to start a new life, the eye of a hurricane landing on the beach in front of your new home. It was 1979, there was no advance warning like we have now. There was no damage, my family was safe and I started my first day of Jupiter Middle School on time.
When I moved back to NY for college in 1985, Hurricane Gloria hit NYC and Long Island. That storm had lots of damage. My purse was stolen along with my wallet, cash and id as I was taking the Long Island Railroad to the safety of my grandparents’ house in Riverhead. I was unharmed which was the important part, and everything else could be replaced. Trees were down from the storm and power was out for over 2 weeks in some towns. A wedding we were supposed attend that weekend was cancelled. The couple never had the chance to reschedule their wedding……………..so maybe the storm worked out better for them in the long run.
Hurricane Andrew hit the Miami with life-changing destruction for many. None of my friends and family lived in the major impact zone, others were not so fortunate. On Long Island, personal storms happened then we had Hurricane Irene which gave us a short power outage that was really a preview of Superstorm Sandy.
In 2012, the NY tri-state area had a very unfriendly Halloween visit from Sandy. She was not sweet and kind like Olivia Newton John’s Sandy in the movie Grease. Hurricane Sandy was a powerful cat 3 witch of a storm that hit NY and Long Island hard. We attended a Halloween party at friends in Amityville, NY the Saturday before Sandy hit……..yes THAT famous horror movie home which was actually very near the party house. On Sunday, we did our hurricane prep. On Monday the 29th, my father in-law came to stay with us on Long Island’s north shore. It was safer than his Long Beach apartment that would be more directly impacted with its oceanside/south shore location. We hoped his visit would be quick like when he stayed with us the year before for Irene.
October 29, 2012, was very scary and different from Irene. The trees were creaking louder and louder as the winds got stronger. We had so many trees near our house, I prayed all the pruning we had been doing would keep us safe from falling trees and branches. The power went out around 8:30 pm so the wind became even louder.
We made it through with minimal damage. Several friends had flooding and lots of damage. There were tornados and microbursts near our home that took out a lot of trees. Again, the important part was we were all safe. The cleanup period was a bit challenging. We were without power for almost one week, and we did not have a generator. Now that it was November, it was cold in the house without power. My father in-law would stay with us for a full month as the water main near his apartment was broken. I worked at home so Burt and I would spend the whole month together. Some daughters in-laws might be upset about that, but I was happy we could offer my father in-law a safe place to stay and give my sister in-law Anna peace of mind as she dealt with replacing the cars which had saltwater damage, apartment damage and everything else.
My father in-law had started having dementia, so Anna needed a break while she was living with friends instead of her own home in my father in-law’s building. I loved the first post-storm days when Burt and I waited on gas station lines to fill up gas cans and deliver them to friends in areas where there was no gas. He made me take him to the diner for lunch every day because he did not want me to work so hard cooking for him. When he forgot things or was confused, I tried to be patient knowing this was strange in many more ways for him. A lot was strange for me too. My dear mother in-law Hershelle passed away in February of the same year. My in-laws had not been married for years, but it was still a hard year for Greg, Anna and I to lose their beloved mother, and watch their dad start dementia in the same year.
Today I cherish that month I spent with my father in-law even more. My own father has had dementia for a few years now and his health is declining. I think about things I saw Burt do then that I see my dad doing now. The Superstorm Sandy days prepared me for what was to come……… after each meteorological storm hits, we learn and prepare better for the next one. That was my first real connection between the weather storms and the emotional storms we deal with in life.
I truly see the blessings of those 30 days Burt and I spent together almost 24/7. We laughed, he raked leaves, we drove around, and I watched him get frustrated about why he was at our house and not his home. He asked the same question questions, and I answered him respectfully. I was concerned for his safety the first days when we had only candles and he was in an unfamiliar place. I worried about the house going up in flames because we had to have a light source in case he needed to use the bathroom at night, and we were using candles. I came up with a makeshift big glass lantern that would be safe from being knocked over. Flashlights weren’t going to last for the long haul………………..as I deal with my dad’s health now on the worst days I think about Burt and what these moments are teaching me now. I am confident it will be a cherished memory and lesson for me just like with my father in-law.
Since Sandy, other friends have paid us visits in NY, FL and NC. There was Irma, Florence, Matthew, Michale, Dorian and lots of unnamed storms including a hailstorm.
Florence was by far the biggest challenging, she hit our peace of heaven on earth on Emerald Isle, NC. it was a quaint family beach home my great Uncle George built after his Marine Corps days. Our family gathered there to visit and then my mom inherited the house when George passed away. Great friendships were created there, it had a tie to my work and other family too. Florence actually impacted my life before during and after in so many ways. The house needed a new roof and lots of inside work due to the water damage. My dad and I stayed in NC for almost 4 months while the waiting for the new roof. The inside work would take another 8 months to complete. And it was clear, having a second house was too much for my parents with their age increasing and health declining. The house was sold, and a new family can make wonderful memories there……….in the deal I got a wonderful new friend, our realtor Carolyn Blackmon bonded over the repairs and similar other life storms.
Since my last major hurricane lots of things have happened in the world. Bigger, crazier world events have created storms for all of us. Through dealing with all the challenges, I have learned to go with the expert advice for navigating riptides……….
- Trying to swim against a rip current will only use up your energy; energy you need to survive and escape the rip current.
- Do NOT try to swim directly into to shore. Swim along the shoreline until you escape the current’s pull. When free from the pull of the current, swim at an angle away from the current toward shore
And I am still going to refer to the storms as “besties” and friends as I learn to not expend energy on what I can’t control so I can focus on thriving after any storm.
My dad Robert Sweeney (left) and my father in-law Burton Feldman (right) celebrating Father’s Day 2009 with family and friends, I am a blessed for everything these 2 men have taught me. photographer: me
photographer: Gisela Martinez Melbourne/Orlando, FL location: Satellite Beach, FL
The Lovely Spotted Flamingo 