A month in to joining Jamie Kern Lima’s (IT Cosmetics founder) book launch and Believe It workshops and empowerment group, etc. I am realized a big part of what is holding many of us back is we haven’t modernized our definition of fear.
Once that idea popped into my brain, I Googled it and my suspicions were confirmed. The # 1 definition was the one below. My internal example of fear was more like I can’t climb a ladder because I have a fear of heights and I will fall and get hurt. Whoever wrote the example is a bit more dramatic with a cabby murder, maybe that general fear example is better than mine.
Example #2 is from Webster and very similar.
These examples are great but way outdated., but so many people haven’t gotten the memo that in order to achieve goals, we must modernize who we think and fear.
If you are actively working on figuring out how to do more, live happier or the next chapter like I am, you know some of what I am going to say. But you may not know you know it (aka the light bulb hasn’t blinked on for the aha moment which is good because growth omes when it clicks for you and make sense for you to acknowledge and/or take action.)
Last year I read Judi Holler’s Fear is My Home Boy and she has many good points on how to conquer fear and get ahead. This week I read Noa Shaw’s book STOP thinking Thoughts That Scare You and was highlighting the whole book. Noa gave a no fluff, all-action example, and tips for conquering fear in each chapter.
Both Judi and Noa are advanced Fear Fighters who may be a little much for new comers on this the fearless journey, but we all have to start somewhere if we are going to see results. I have been thinking a lot about this subject for a while, more intensely this week and this morning I read comments in my book group and saw a lot of FEAR, and a lot of people being stuck because of fear.
What struck me most was not seeing anyone write I am afraid in their story and comments. But I am experienced enough to know that was what they meant. Then it hit me right after my mom started worrying about something and I had to tell her to stop, stop overthinking it, give something a chance to work before you make up your mind it never will…..we need to modernize our definition of fear.
Fear is all the things stopping you from starting, all the worry, all the overthinking, all things you must buy or do to be ready to even try, and all similar thoughts and techniques we have so cleverly disguised lately.
Bottom line is make a decision and start. Don’t miss out because of the noise in your head holding you back. We do so many silly and crazy things because of FOMO which are kind of a dare, but some how we let noise into our mind, other people, and more in and we let them stop us from starting. And once there is doubt, there is more risk of excuses and negative vibes joining into the pity party and before you know it is a full blown bash and you wake up with a bigger fear hang over the day.
As you go on this weekend, make a list of all those limiting things, excuses your doubts. That friends is FEAR. Once you define your fear in this new way of thinking about, then start doing the work, stop overthinking and start doing. Let that contagious virus you have inside you be success and happiness, they work the same way as fear, but leave you with a great feeling that you are unstoppable instead of dread, negativity and a fear hangover.
My number 1 go to when I want to start or get back on track is to move. I take walks and add in quick burst of exercise to pump me. Even 5 laps around the yard in the am or 10 minutes of dance music help me go. Try it or pick one of your inspiring things. Pick something small so you can easily do it daily, bug complicated goals are more stall tactics and the failure leas you down the bad slide again.
xo, Tracy Lynne
The Lovely Spotted Flamingo 